Runner’s World+ member, Shayna Christensen, sat down with deputy health and fitness editor, Mallory Creveling to talk about the turning point in her life that led her to sobriety. A runner before she stopped drinking, she also shares how her new relationship with alcohol has also shaped a new commitment to running.
Runner’s World: Thank you so much for being here with us today and chatting with us about your relationship with alcohol and how that’s affected your running and your life. Can you talk a little bit about what made you want to stop drinking and what changed in your relationship with alcohol that made you want to stop?
Shayna Christensen: You know, alcohol and running have been—this sounds so strange, put side-by-side like this—but have been the biggest part of my world since I got out of college. So right out of college, I didn’t know what to do after college sports, so the cheapest thing to pick up was a pair of running shoes, and I had, luckily, a support system through friends that wanted to join me in doing, at that time, marathons and half marathons. [Running] served as an outlet for me socially, but also mentally and physically. It was just such a great balance.
My life with alcohol was throwing that off and started affecting, now, my biggest outlet in life and enjoyment. Some days, I would even be drunk trying to run three to eight miles on that day, which, I don’t know how I did that. It was getting to the point that, physically and mentally, I knew that I couldn’t do this. Runs were not my safe place anymore. I couldn’t use a run to clear my thoughts.
What made me stop drinking, really, was me. I was tired of battling that everyday battle. I didn’t feel good at all and the runs weren’t that magical fix anymore. So, I really knew that I was destroying myself. I was destroying every part of my life that I was enjoying or used to enjoy. The year of 2020 was the pandemic. My father passed. And I have a sober date of 5/11/2020. So it really was digging down deep and having to take care of myself to be able to have a balance anymore.
RW: And how did you actually quit drinking? What were some of the steps you took to make that happen?
SC: I felt like a piece of crap. I finally got to the point that [I felt like] no one needed me in this world, I did not belong to this world. I was the only person. So, I was going to leave this world. And I remember my husband saying, “Hey, you should try this chat line.” And I'm old, so I’m like, “Oh, a chat line. Sure, what’s a chat line?” He’s like, “It’s for some support.” Well, it was a suicide hotline.
So, I called them and that kind of kicked me into [this realization that] if I’m calling, now my brain’s like, alright, now I’m calling, at that point, it was Betty Ford. And I jumped in a week later. I became vulnerable, opened up my stories more and more and realized there’s a world of us out here.
It’s just nice to finally connect, have a community everywhere, in all aspects of my life now. Being an alcoholic, you have to be a loner, ’cause no one wants to be around you, and you don’t want to be around anyone else. So factoring in that I have a community, I have strength in myself, that’s what I want in my life.
Alcohol brought me nothing. So it’s only been since May 11, 2020. Each and every step that I’ve taken is a celebration, and I celebrate who I’m becoming and I can share that out in my runs with people that I'm running with, when they have struggles.
RW: Running is a very big celebration of life and what your body and mind can do, so that’s awesome. You said the running community has been really important to you, how did it help you through your journey of becoming sober?
SC: I thought I was gonna lose some friends, because after runs, what do we do? On the weekends, we would go drink or be out on a patio, just passing the day by with drinking. And it was to the point that, I thought I was going to lose those friends because I didn’t do that anymore or I chose to do something else. And I really found those nonjudgmental friends that I need and those are the people that I love to spend my half an hour to an hour to two hours, if it turns into running with these people, so that I can keep that connection to a place I can be vulnerable.
A run is where I get to say, okay, I’m just gonna verbally puke how I feel, what I think. So having that outlet, not just as a physical one now, but a part of the life that I want to be right now, is super important for me.
RW: Since you have quit drinking, how has your running changed, specifically, or your running and your fitness?
SC: One of my goals when I was completely, we call it “underwater,” one of my goals was to at least be able to get back to running three miles comfortably. I didn’t think I could do it because I have been so unhealthy to myself. So, one of the things that I did for my goal was to get an A-plus from my doctor. So, knowing that I didn’t totally destroy my innards, that I’m good there, and then to just realize, okay, I can do this.
One of my goals during my underwater was also to do 100 push-ups a day. I couldn’t even bust out 10 push-ups on my knees. So, now I do 100 push-ups a day. I, at least, go out four times a week to do at least two and a half to three miles.
The difference, for me, not drinking than when I was drinking, is that it’s not about the mileage right now, for me. It’s about clearing my brain, keeping that balance, and keeping my goals in life, in my runs. And one of the things I have incorporated, I have running pictures of the day. So when I’m meditating or running, I tend to try to look for something that brings me enjoyment or brings me into that moment. So, each and every one of my runs, I post a running pic, and it just serves a purpose to say, hey, it’s not about the mileage anymore. It’s about the whole meaning of it and bringing it into my space in a whole different way, rather than, let’s go, go, go, train, train, train. So it’s taken on a whole new life for me.
RW: That’s great. That’s a great way to view running, as well. And, how else has your life changed since your sobriety date?
SC: You know, one of the biggest things that’s life-changing is definitely the dynamic that I have with my partner. To be in this relationship already drinking like I was, and then to become sober, has just been like a complete style change for us. And I used to be so apologetic. So feeling comfortable with myself and sharing with my partner the real me, it was hard, because would this person still accept me as who I’m finding out I am? Getting to know myself and then reflecting it in my relationships has been monumental for me. But before, I would be so hard on myself, and I want to be perfect. Now I feel good and confident that I’m okay with myself at least getting out there.
RW: I love that message, for runners, especially. Strength is in showing yourself some grace and having that confidence to do that and confidence in yourself is an important message and one that can be beneficial. Thank you so much for being so vulnerable with us, too. We really appreciate that.
SC: It’s been the best thing in my life, being vulnerable, ’cause I want to be authentic, and thank you for inviting me here, because this gives me an opportunity to bring my authentic self forward. So I appreciate you for taking time for me, too, and my story.
RW: We’re happy to. We’re happy that you’re here to share with us. So thank you so much.
Mallory Creveling, an ACE-certified personal trainer and RRCA-certified run coach, joined the Runner's World and Bicycling team in August 2021. She has more than a decade of experience covering fitness, health, and nutrition. As a freelance writer, her work appeared in Women's Health, Self, Men's Journal, Reader's Digest, and more. She has also held staff editorial positions at Family Circle and Shape magazines, as well as DailyBurn.com. A former New Yorker/Brooklynite, she's now based in Easton, PA.
